psychiatric help 5c…
myFriends:
today, i ask your advice. you see, i’m getting ready to engage in a very high-conflict discussion with my babies daddy regarding a resolution to our very out-of-date custody paperwork…
i initiated this review of our arrangement for good reason: he and his wife are out of their friggin’ minds. background: i just dismissed a stalking & harassment order against her (how nice of me).
its bad…there’s no abuse, except emotional…but there is a lot of baggage and they’ve caused my parents and i a LOT of pain and emotional stress…not to mention the twins we share custody of…
devil’s advocate: i’m not the easiest person to deal with when i feel my family being threatened or taken advantage of…in fact, i’m a rogue bitch who is relentless in her pursuit of making sure whoever it is is WELL aware i have taken notice…and putting them on notice.
the dad thinks this is some ploy to hurt him because his wife is such a bitch to me…you name it, she’s done it…recently, she showed up at my house and demanded my children…(you fucking kidding me?) she has stalked me via hostile ex-boyfriends and given them my whereabouts (as in new address) she has contacted employers of mine and said that i am drug user (thank god for hair tests) she has gotten me fired from two jobs because they “did not want to deal with her any longer”…she had my child support payments routed to an old address using my SSN…etc, etc, etc…
BUT this isn’t about HER…its not about HIM..its about the boys…basically, the dad will have his visitation and beyond that nothing, he does not attend parent/teacher conferences…actually, he doesn’t attend anything…
i do NOT want to diminish his visitation…i do not want to take away his parenting rights…but i want things to change and i am asking the judge for “primary” custody…which only means if there is a legal issue and he and i cannot agree…my decision sticks…however, we’d still have joint and legal custody, i just have final say…
ok, enough background…this could turn into a novella…
he wants to meet and discuss this…er, actually — i gave him the open door and it was like pulling teeth to actually talk to me without his wife within earshot…(he’s whipped people) but he finally agreed…
so now what? how do i handle this conversation? how do i keep it in control? what are some body language arts i can use? some buzz words to bring the focus back to whats best for the boys and not how much he despises me?
i got a good — no GREAT — set of minds here to work with, so i give you the floor
xoxo,
“ms. devine”
