stasi and the city

i had my 15 minutes…back in the early 90’s, i was a radio personality on this radio station…i was “lea’ cole on power 96″ (can’t you just hear my sultry, yet big radio voice?)

i sucked. i was no rick dees or casey kasem…i would fade a track for a break, and sloppily stumble over my words and mix them up…the best example i can remember “mostly sot and hunny today”…my voice would be recognized in the drive thru, people came to see me at “remotes”, i was a d-list celebrity (at best) albeit it only lasted 2 years…i was somebody.

what’s funny is how i was hired though…

i had just turned 22 (or was very close to it) — i was a full-time student at the technical college (read: burnout’s school) — i was also working as a bartender in 3 popular hotspots in town, two of which competed with each other…i was my own sewing circle for gossip…

i had just moved back to the rents’ place after leaving a psycho boyfriend — i came home one day to find him chanting with crystals and pleasuring himself to pics of an old girlfriend he was obsessed with…now, i’m all for new age stuff…but, i’m not competing with an old photo…so i packed my shit and promptly left…a couple of months later i met a guy who i immediately knew, i would marry one day…

into our courtship and his growing absense from his air-force buddies, his friends would razz him about the “1-900 number” he was dating…for all the times i was over in his barracks room, his friends always just missed me. they jokingly referred to me as “snuffalufagus” and that really i was merely some pre-produced track that darren purchased to play on his answering machine so his friends would think he was “gettin’ some”…this was a running joke for about 3 weeks…darren had to go on a TDY mission and while he was out-of-town i heard a spot on the local radio station for a “find the new DJ contest”…i listened to this come on about 4 or 5 times in my car and just kinda giggled to myself thinking up a scenario where darren would be listening to the station at work with his buddies and my voice comes trailing over the their conversation…it would be a sitcom moment. i live for sitcom moments =)

on a whim i shrugged to myself, “what the hell?” so i called the radio station and spoke with the receptionist (shae) who talked me into coming in and doing an air-check.

let me paint this picture for you…this was 1991…spiral perms and t-shirts that showed your midrift were in abundance…if you’re not aware, these lovely red locks are borrowed…i am a natural blonde with naturally curly/wavy hair…i was sporting this huge head of hair on a 110-115lb frame…belly in full view and smoked like a chimney…

i came into the radio station and sat on the couch in the lobby awaiting my turn in the production room (the “ol’ 8 track) — i could hear a voice in the hallway muttering something along the lines of giving 100$ to the first hick who could “give a weather report without using “y’all” or “knowhadimean”"…to give you an idea, this is valdosta, ga. if you’re not familiar and you’ve ever driven to florida…you stopped there for gas…its the last georgia city on i75 before you hit the florida border…

so this man comes out from behind the hallway, glances over at me and asks the receptionist to join him in his office…i find out later the conversation went something like

“who is the blonde bimbo on the couch?”

shea “she’s here to audition”

“oh gawd, please no more…i can’t take it today”

to which shea talked (pleaded) him into just “hearing me”…so he did…and i didn’t sound like a blonde bimbo..in fact, he was on the phone calling his buddy across country to hear me…i was his little protege’ right away…(did i mention i sucked? but i sounded really good doing it…lol)

i found out early on that i was a “behind the scenes” kind of person…i much more enjoyed being the creator of attention rather than be the center of it (oh shut up y’all…i was quite shy back then!)…as such, i learned that i picked up the “technical” side of the station rather easily…i could time the advertising carts to fire in succession with precision…i could hit an exact “post”…i could manipulate the flow of the music selection to time perfectly with a PSA (even if only i got the inside joke)…be it luck or situation, i progressed from “overnights” to “middays” within months…darren’s squadron listened to me at work and would catch all the little “inside jokes” i’d broadcast over the airwaves about him…rex would come in the station, grab an air-check and say something like “i’m gonna make you famous”…(hey rex, i’m more infamous than i ever was famous )

almost 15 years later…i am still a nerd about software and technical things…its been my downfall as much as my means to an end…i suppose i’m fairly talented at it…afterall, in researching this blog i found: Rex Holiday, Tully and Mari — all former DJ’s at the old “Power 96″ — i’d like to thank mr. gore again for inventing the internet…

perhaps i will gather s’more memories of those days gone by of radio broadcasting…maybe i’ll tell the story of how i met and learned to really, really hate someone with the passion like the experience i had with rush limbaugh…or maybe i can tell you about setting the radio station off the air by touching the board with static electricity…good times, good times.

i have fond memories of those times, i’m happy to find today that rex, mari and tully all did well in their lives and i’m really looking forward to catching up with them…

what a small www