“its not my job to do so, i thought you were his mother”
this is the text message i just received from the step monster…
seems my child “has a 30.00 overdue library fine”…and in “ten days they will send him to a collection agency”. this is the text message she sent to my phone this morning. never mind being woman enough to pick up the phone, perhaps leave a voice mail on my land line?
you see, his father could not be bothered taking the child (yet, again…) to the library to get a book for a book report. i remember this day distinctively..i had to go to his father’s house and rush him to the library before it closed…never mind there were 3 adults living in his father’s house at the time…all with valid driver’s licences…never mind that my son had been there for 3 days prior to this, and that most of that was a weekend…
but that’s not all…you see, this woman has been posturing for months that she wants us to be “friends”…she even went so far as to take me to the movies…and before that, she got drunk on new years eve and tried to kiss my boyfriend, in front of her husband no less…right before she landed square on her white zinfandel stoned ass (for those of you in the “know” — the choice of wine speaks volumes) right in front of her own children…not to mention mine…
she took me to the movies…she even called me a couple of weeks later and wanted to “talk about our relationship”…ok..that’s all well and good, i nominate her to the academy…but here’s the clincher…
a week ago my boys had a band concert…there was seat open in front of the sperm donor and the step monster…they had their two children there as well, who amazingly, are well rounded, polite children…one of them has a condition that can’t be helped and his mouth and motor skills are somewhat affected like a mild form of turrets…so he tends to blurt things out from time to time…
(sidebar: my twins almost died in utero and were born at only 31 weeks, they spent 3 & 4 weeks in the neonatal ICU and premie ward…one was dislexic, left-handed and right-eyed dominant and went through weeks of therapy to learn how to read…the other had a speech problem..they are now both scholastically advanced children ..um, cream and sugar with your karma there sweetheart?)
so as we are sitting there her oldest child inquires
“what is your name?”
as we joke back and forth about how he knows my name and who i am…he looks at his mother and asks
“mom, that is stasi…you said you hate her?”
silence…no telling the child to stop…no explanation to try and weasel out of it…the child continues
“…you hate her, you don’t want to sit by her you said”
so i excused myself politely (from the concert she was not even invited too, no less) and moved to another seat away from her and her “family”…missing most of being able to even see the boys and their last band concert…
no apology, nothing….and the sperm donor just sat there while the step monster kept a tight grip on his balls…i wonder if she keeps them in a jar next to the bed like dentures…and only gives them to him when he needs to chew on something hard…like her ass perhaps?
so now this bitch wants to send me a text message telling me how i need to pay this library fine for my child…never mind that i’m not the child’s only parent…never mind that the child has asked the father several times to take him to drop off the book…
so i replied:
“you two can find a mall, but not the library…seems about right”
to which she replied:
“its not my job to do so, i thought you were his mother”
i left it at that, cuz you know what? she’s right…i AM his mother…and its gratifying to sit back and gloat about how much that really pisses her off…
rant over.
spanks for playing.
xoxo, stasi
GranDiva said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 15:15
Wow. Rant, much? lol
Well, it seems that people only do what they’re supposed to do when it’s convenient. I guess that extends to parenting.
stasihart said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 15:15
no mami, that extends to lazy, selfish, small minded people…not to parents…parents do what needs done whether or not its “convenient” — if parenting were convenient, there would be no need for foster homes or orphanages…
i’m just sayin.
zengoddessjen said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 15:15
Ha!
It seems to me that lil mz. stepmonster (yes, T I know capitalization… I refuse to use caps for such an insignificant person) is having issues adjusting to life in your shadow. You’ll ALWAYS be the first wife, ALWAYS be the first family (hence the money she doesn’t get…lol) and YOUR children will ALWAYS be first born before any spawn she may squeeze from her depths of hell (aka her loins).
Look, the reality of the situation is that you are dealing with a woman that is so insecure that she can’t help but be jealous of you. She stalks you on the internet (hi there!), reads your blogs and follows YOUR life because hers is so “for appearance sake” that she is only happy when she is making others miserable.
She yearns for validation from the boys which she will never get because of the way she talks about their mother. In her effort to make your life miserable, she is further alienating the boys. Perhaps when the boys are old enough (which is coming soon) to make their own decisions with the court on who they want to live with and whether or not they want to visit their father, she will have to take a long hard look at herself in the mirror and realize that SHE is the reason that her husband no longer has a relationship with his children AND their child support just went up considerably because they are with you 100% of the time.
Irony always has the last laugh…
stasihart said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 15:15
have i told you i love you today?
all that aside, in the end…the only person hurt by her antics is her…for all the “nice” things she buys and owns, she will never fully have my children’s respect…and here i sit renting drywall, shopping at consigment shops and driving a little korean car…with two boys who love me unconditionally, and we don’t have shit! lol
i love when irony gets its giggle on too!
xoxo
Shannon said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 16:16
Woah tell the psycho she should get some therapy. It’s not healthy to be so hateful. Woops, looks like I just told her that myself. She’s a Psychotic Princess, that’s for damn sure. I’d totally tell the school to ship that bill straight to his sperm donor’s house.
And a 30 dollar fine? For fuckssake, just by the god damn book.
Shannon said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 16:16
Uhm that would be buy, not by. *Sigh* See what happens when you get me into a typing frenzy?!
Punk in Trublic said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 16:16
“right before she landed square on her white zinfandel stoned ass (for those of you in the “know” — the choice of wine speaks volumes”
**CLINK** Isn’t THAT the truth!!
Bask in the glory that is maturity; for it is a glow this woman clearly knows nothing of. Sometimes the only thing you can do to combat pettiness is to smile politely and carry on with dignity, pride and class – and the ever-present comfort of knowing that your are above this.
White Zinfandel – good grief, what trash!! What is she, 12???
zengoddessjen said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 17:17
lmao @ Shammy!
White Zinfandel indeed!
zengoddessjen said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 17:17
um… you know that old addage, you are what you eat?
Well White Zinfandel =trash
so I guess that makes her….*drum roll please*
WHITE TRASH!
*bwahahahahaha…I make me laugh*
stasihart said,
Tue, 13.May.08 at 21:21
i love my friends!!!
Mark Lyndon said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 7:07
I don’t know you or any of the people you’re talking about, but your blog is just dripping with hate, schadenfreude and smugness. Who cares what kind of wine she drinks?
If you had any “dignity, pride and class”, and you really were “above this”, you wouldn’t be blogging about all this stuff.
stasiQ said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 13:13
strange coincidence…the sperm donor and step monster moved here from st. louis…as did i…and low and behold…”Mark Lyndon” aka “ml66uk2@yahoo.com” just HAPPEN to post a reply to an editorial in the….wait for it….drumroll….ding!ding!ding! the ST. LOUIS POST DISPATCH!!
http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/parents-talk-back/parents-talk-back/2008/04/to-circumcise-or-not/all-comments/
…please pass along my gratiude to the step-monster for sending me another reader
Mark Lyndon said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 14:14
Like I said before, I don’t know you or any of the people you’re talking about. I’ve never been to St Louis either. If you google a bit further, you should be able to figure out what led me to a) the St Louis Dispatch, and b) your blog.
The Italian said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 15:15
Oh, my……what ever is the world coming to ?
I can’t believe my ears……how do you claim to embrace some one in love and continually alienate, snub, ostrasize and openly shun the children of the man you love. When you love, you take all of the person into your heart, mind, and soul….all of who they are, who they will become and all they ever were….this includes their family, friends and even aqaintances……….to think that some how this point is lost and the very essence of who her husband is….at least all of the good things he is, is captured in his children and yet she shuns them, makes them to feel inferior to her own children, second class citizens in the home of their father……Wow !!!
Judas, Hitler, Mao…..all great decievers……is she so good as to manipulate and mask her true character to the person she crawls, slinks, slithers into bed with each night…..it must be hell to imagine your children in such close proximaty to such a warped psychological force. But yet, some how you probably find comfort in knowing that your lessons, your actions, and the essence of who you are also resides in your children. This is their armor, there stregnth, their defense against the forces of evil and the vile corrupting environ she creates about them……with your love and their eyes they can see and defend against the sword that is her tongue and the bile that flows through her heart…..and take comfort in knowing that one day too, they will make the man who wears the blinders of a thoroughbred race horse come to know he too is guilty of betrayal. The betrayal of his failure to curb his hell hound and lead her snarling, druel ridden, bile infested soul away from the pure and bright souls of his offspring.
One day his reckoning as well as hers will come to be. On that day things will be clear to her, him and the children. It is on this day he will realize his children are no longer children, but young men……intelligent, balanced, empathetic and caring young men…..yet they will have come to conclusions, conlclusions that they overlooked for too long, conclusions that had been seen through rose colored lenses of their youth and murky will now be very clear. They will afford explainations for their actions and yet they will offer no sympathy for those that betrayed them for so long…..yet in their heart they will hold warmth and hope for those they realize they must now face head on with all of the dark truths they have banked for so long…..the benefit of the doubt will no longer be given and the olive branch that was allowed to wither on the tree because of neglect will have to be nurtured and earned back…..I pray by the time this is realized, it is not too late for the ire to be layed to rest and the desire to to do what should be inately known is done………..Child should be allowed to love and never taught the malcontent ideals that lead to all of the worlds ills……forgiveness is something that is afford to those that can forgive themselves and others…..when such a capacity is lost it is never retrievable……may the the dark queen and the blind prince come to know and embrace this….and may all children always retain the joy they so aptly spread and never do so selectively.
Do what you will with your penis, Mark Lyndon…………..sometimes the scarred and disfigured have the most beautiful of souls……..and the most beautiful are really dark leviathans in disguise……yet even goliaths who seem so invincible are brought to their knees by the most innocent and slight of stature.
stasihart said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 15:15
you know none of us….yet, you return to see if i replied? either i’m that entertaining, you’re that boring…or someone is stretching the truth just a tad…
yanno, i just changed the *only* chat status the step-monster can see to “i heart mark lyndon” and five mins later…i get your 2nd response….
i’m just sayin.
stasihart said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 15:15
@the italian…i heart you
Mark Lyndon said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 15:15
Stasihart: I can assure you I’m not stretching the truth, though it doesn’t really matter whether you believe me or not. If the stepmother really is reading this, she’s probably scratching her head wondering who I am too. For all I know, she is as bad as you seem to think, or even worse, but I don’t think that blogging about it to the whole world is a good idea, and it makes *you* look bad not her. I certainly wouldn’t my parents saying things like that, especially not in public.
The Italian: I agree with some of what you say, though I’m not sure all of it’s relevant or appropriate. Don’t you think that comparing someone to “Judas, Hitler, Mao” is a little over the top?
stasihart said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 16:16
“mark”, as you seem to be fairly intelligent…i invite you to read my other blogs…i spend the good amount of my blogging fodder on topics far more relevant to my life and consciousness than the comical, yet rather sad, antics of the aforementioned: step monster
as for “blogging to the whole world to see” — well, i only have a few readers, 99% of them i know personally and have met in person, they know me well and i consider them close and life-long friends, not just “readers”
i blog for the release — some choose to provide their dislike(s) via their innocent children mouths…some choose to seek revenge by things such as contacting their would-be “enemies” employer to “get back at them”….some go too far and seek revenge by acts of cowardliness using guns or violence…i choose to “vent” by blogging…no harm, no foul…if someones feelings get hurt in the process…well, i’m not holding a gun to their head and making them read…
i don’t use names or places…i just tell the truth as i see it…after all, it is my blog…
if you’d like to debate the 1st amendment…well, that’s right up my alley.
The Italian said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 16:16
Oh, Marky Mark…….betrayal is the worst of all sins….those listed are the faces of the worst evil…evil done against those that we instill our trust….Dante placed the faces of such betrayors at the center of hell and sat them closest to the devil himself… the devil, once a soldier of the Almighty, betrayed his love and trust and thus his infamey began……..They hanged Benedict Arnold despite all of the good he did for his fledgling country prior to his betrayal….it is the act of betrayed trust that is so unscrupulous…so evil….so unforgivable.
No, it is not harsh to put such betrayors in the same category as such men of infamey…they are all two faced and what they show to the world and what they truly are, are never one and the same……they are all heretics….like the stepford wife and psuedo caring stepmother…..one face attempts to wear a halo but the glow is never there….the energy for it is supplied by trust….a trust that must be earned daily and never can be self sustaining……it may only be supplied by those that believe in her and trust in her……..she vanguishes that transfer of energy almost daily, with her actions, her speech and her attitude…….May she find solice in her sleep and her soul in her dreams…..may the energy return and the horns fall from her head.
Teach love and underestanding and receive love and understanding….teach hate and intollerance and receive the same……never forgive and trust and you will never be forgiven or trusted………….
“There is no such thing as a good war and no such thing as a bad peace.”
—–Ben Franklin
zengoddessjen said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 16:16
i <3 The Italian too… he SOOO rocks
And who the hell is this “Mark Lyndon” person? I find it suspect that (s)he just “happened” upon your blog…*cough bullshit cough*
The Italian said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 17:17
zengoddessjen:
Thanks for your words of praise….love ya too…..Be nice to Marky Mark…..you know how those young adolescent guys are with the big egos……….Theyr’e like sticks of dynamite, ready to blow up at any moment……but you know how dynamite is too……..the bigger the noise the shorter the wick and the quicker the BANG comes and goes !!!!!
stasihart said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 19:19
**giggle** you said “bang” and “stick”
Mark Lyndon said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 20:20
The Italian: I wouldn’t mind being a young adolescent again, but I’m actually in my 40’s.
zengoddessjen: it’s hardly a huge coincidence *cough* that someone just “happened” on this blog. This stepmother knows maybe 50 or a hundred people who might be interested in the blog, but how many other people are there who can read this blog? Umm, that would be everyone on the Internet aka world wide web.
stasihart: I didn’t suggest that you were writing anything illegal, and I’d be dead against anything which would make it illegal to say what you’ve said. I still don’t think it’s a good idea though. It just looks like it can only make a bad situation worse, and there are two sets of children that can suffer collateral damage. There are always going to be people we don’t get on with, but we don’t need to trash them to the whole world, especially when there are children involved. There’s probably a way to make your blog invite-only btw. This is the only thread I’ve seen, so I’ll munch on some more of your blogging fodder tomorrow.
The Italian said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 20:20
Marky Mark:
Wow, 40’s huh ?………..Bet you have man-tits and you like to touch them all the time……don’t you have a revolutionary front meeting to go to, or better yet a appointment to get your feet scraped and your 40 year old ass waxed…………you’re opinion is less than wanted, no where near insightful or thought prevoking and at best irritating to all………..you’d be better off with a book, a warm bath and an enima bag !
stasihart said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 20:20
“mark” — i find it extremely odd that i have over 50 blogs on here…yet, the only ones with any kind of “hits” are the ones where i mention my kids father, or even more…his wife…i’m not apologizing, except to say…i’m sorry i have restrained as much as i have…
i actually have a much more, very public, very popular blog that i write under a pseudonym…i know we have mutual *friends* (the step-monster and i) on that blog, so i leave my personal life off of it…however you’d like to view that…i see it as compassionate and respectful on my part…
for her/his children to find my blog here and read it…um, SFW…if a 7 y/o has access to anything that can be read on wordpress, that’s not *my* bad parenting…or my responsibility…my children can’t get to anything on via the internet that is inappropriate for them…because, i make sure that they can’t
but let’s call a spade a spade here…you did not just “happen” on my blog…none of my keywords even come close to “circumcision” or anything relavent — that you, yourself, have blogged on…be that as it is…i will restrain since you have been respectful and adult with this…and i will not list all the information i was able to find on *you* on the internet…(nothing very bad folks) i’m simply stating, there’s no way you just “found” your way over here…
as for airing my “dirty laundry”…if i had the money, as it seems some do, to just go shopping for more clothes every time i was clumsy enough to stain something, well…that would be quite a nice luxury…
GranDiva said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 21:21
@Mark Lydon:
The definition of “blog” by our good friends at Princeton:
* web log: a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies; “postings on a blog are usually in chronological order”
* read, write, or edit a shared on-line journal
I feel that Stasi is completely within her rights to say whatever she wants however she wants to whomever she wants as this is an “online journal.” I don’t think there is any need to have her journal deconstructed by people who don’t know her, or are simply looking for entertainment.
I think that there is no schadenfreude here, for the person under scrutiny is not miserable, which is the requisite situation to demand that response.
I also don’t feel that it is filled with hate. I think that it is filled with frustration, as well as a little freedom in the knowledge that Stasi is ultimately the blood parent. Sociologically, there are often problems as mentioned above in dealing with the blending of families. I see no inordinate amount of frustration here. In fact, I think what is unique is two peacefully blended families. Although sad, it is true.
Lastly, I think that the people who read this online journal are typically people who know Stasi, have been along for this journey, and know when to cheerlead, slap into reality, or empathize. To that end, I think that prudence should be exercised when responding to such a personal matter. When not used, you can expect a lashing from friends who feel that your commentary is out of place.
Mark Lyndon said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 21:21
The Italian: Thank you for your kind words.
stasihart: I actually came across your blog because I was a sperm donor over 20 years ago (as you probably found out), and every day Google Alerts sends me emails of web pages that match that topic. Most of them seem to be someone wishing to insult someone’s father rather than anything to with actual sperm donation, and I normally close the window after about ten seconds and move on. Yours though seemed filled with vitriol. It was actually some of the comments that I found really depressing, and the fact that a whole group of you seemed to be egging each other on, and revelling in the unpleasantness of the situation. There are worse things that happen I know, like wars and stuff, but I actually felt sorry for the people involved, including the people saying all the bad stuff. People get divorced, and most of the time they’re not going to like each other any more, but they should still try to get on, especially when there are children involved.
GranDiva: I think we all know what a blog is, and stasihart can say pretty much whatever she wants. So can I though, and I happened to think that some of the commentary before I ever got here was out of place. You’re welcome to think that I’m an interfering nerd with too much time on his hands, and to say that.
“schadenfreude” just means “satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune” btw and I think a few things on this thread fit that, especially the last paragraph of the original post. If it was a friend of mine blogging stuff like this, I certainly wouldn’t be cheering them on. I’m not looking for entertainment, and I hate trolls, but I felt like I wanted to say something.
I really hope there are two peacefully blended families. Some of what’s been written here isn’t going to help though, and I would worry that even if the children don’t suffer indirectly as a result of this blog making things worse, they might one day somehow read what’s been written. Imagine that it was your mother, or your father’s second wife that was being referred to as a monster.
OK everyone, flame away. I have to go get my feet scraped
Shannon said,
Wed, 14.May.08 at 23:23
Jebus H. Christ on a broomstick. Are you super serial? It is a damn good thing she blogs, otherwise, folks might end up hurt.
What I don’t get is why people are so very interested in this blog, or any other blog you write. Well not people, but stalkers. I mean, I find you entertaining and all but uhm, worthy of stalking? Not so much. (Sorry S) I think you should just lay it all out Stasi, might as well give them a show. However, I know you won’t, you’re far more mature than I am. This just once again proves that people have nothing better to do other than to stick their noses where they don’t belong, aren’t wanted, and so on. Sad, really.
And who in the hell has an e-mail whenever the words sperm donor are used? lmfao Trying to find one of the sperm on the internets? *Sigh*
GranDiva said,
Thu, 15.May.08 at 4:04
I appreciate the definition of schadenfreude, although my German typically leads me to delight in other people’s misery. But, we’re just splitting hairs.
I do believe, however, that this is not the stuff of peacefully blended families. I also, do not believe that it will ever be that. It’s a shame, but they only have another 7 years to coexist. It might be fodder for the psychiatrist’s chair, but we all have something we’ll blame our parents over. Unfortunate, that.
And while I was being cheeky with the definition of “blog,” I do think it deserves to be said that this is an online journal, and one does not need to be scrutinized for what one says in one’s online journal by people who were not invited to read it.
I do appreciate your words, as well as the respect that you gave in your responses.
Cheers.
stasihart said,
Thu, 15.May.08 at 17:17
@mark — yet another coincidence you chose a german word, and i speak german…hmmm…
yanno what though, maybe i am losing it…its not without reason as this woman has stalked me, i mean literally stalked me for years…she has infiltrated my work and friends myspace pages using a fake name…and on and on…i’m no princess, but i have to work really hard to be the caliber of person she is to pull off some of the low-life stunts she’s done to me and my family…why did i drop the charges? bc i have a soul…and my soul exists in this universe…and the universe takes care of itself…in other words, i believe in karma…
it doesn’t matter to me whether you know her…i rather enjoyed the (at least) whimsical and intelligent banter that went on yesterday…that in and of itself was entertaining…
“vee have our vays” and i know what i know…
spanks for playing.
Mark Lyndon said,
Fri, 16.May.08 at 11:11
Now that is a coincidence. Schadenfreude is one of the few German words that made it into English, but I speak German too, and I’m actually in Hamburg right now. I was carrying a “backbag” earlier as I dropped my son off at the “children garden”. I had wondered if there was a German connection with your nickname being “stasihart”, which could roughly translate as “tough as the KGB”.
One of these days someone might be able to give me a good reason why any language would need more than one word for “the”. I couldn’t even find anything in google just now. Polish has even more than German apparently, though I really can’t understand why.
Someone just got indicted for “fraudulently gaining access to someone else’s computer” by posing as someone else on myspace btw, though it’s an extreme case, and it’s not clear if the charges will stick anyway, though I hope they do:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080516/ap_on_hi_te/internet_suicide
I did have a look at some of your other blog entries, and was surprised that they’re all about other stuff. It just looked like you’d set the whole blog up to attack the stepmother. People do and say all sorts of things on the internet that they’d never consider doing in the real world. I moderate four Yahoo groups, and it can get quite nasty, though I’m sure most of the people would get on fine in real life.
Shannon: My interest in donor conception issues is that a few years ago I became aware that the vast majority of donor-conceived people are against donor anonymity, and the story of their conception being secret. Many countries (including the UK, the Netherlands, Austria, Sweden, Norway, and most of Australia) have already ended donor anonymity, and I’m one of the people working towards a change in the laws in the USA. I’ve met a few donor-conceived people in the last few years, and I think they’re right. It shouldn’t just be about what the parents, clinics and donors want, but about what the children might want. They’re the ones who are most affected by the whole thing.
There are loads of other issues about donor conception, including the fact that sperm and egg donation is almost unregulated in the USA. All they seem to care about is whether or not the donor has an STD that might be passed on to the mother. There’s nothing to stop a donor from lying about his medical history, or to stop a sperm bank from continuing to sell sperm even after multiple children have been born with inherited defects. The standard response of the sperm banks in such cases seems to be to deny there could be a problem with the donor, then claim to be unable to contact him or get more medical information, whilst continuing to sell his donations. This article mentions some of the worst cases:
http://www.self.com/magazine/articles/2006/10/23/1006donor_single_page